Meet Arthur

Walking the High Rim Trail today I came across "Arthur".
A kilometre or so away, a trail maintenance crew let me in on it's name.
"That's some creepy dead shit, is what that is", says one of them.
I didn't tell them I took a photo.

A story of Complication.

one story
lead by thought
herds another into woven
fabrications
unheard

An act
pulls conclusions out of another
based on assumptions
unspoken
though like loosestrife
take over

a heart
drawn into closure
aches at misperception
and closes the door
with a bang

Acceptance.

1. The Crossing of the First Threshold
   This is the point where the person actually crosses into the field of adventure, leaving the known limits of his or her world and venturing into an unknown and dangerous realm where the rules and limits are not known.

Here it is. I have accepted and now look forward. Changed direction. Smelled the wind and decided it was not in that direction that I would follow. and here I stand, relaxed shoulders, head high, eyes open, and actually excited not freaked out. thank God. Let's go!


(I declined the job. It's time for a new direction! Hurray!)

inner dialogue

Intuition...the other day I asked myself to find someone who had all the answers. And then I looked at my stomach. I know I have all the answers, somewhere in here...but where oh where oh where oh where and how do I know what's an answer and what's a question...?
It's like when I was a teenager and people used to say "just be yourself". All I could think was , well, that's great - if I had a fucking clue who I was!
Here it is again..."just do what you love" - umm...can you tell me what that is or what is going to make me happy because I don't know right now. what do I love? Doubt.
"Just listen to your intuition" - what does it sound like? How do I distinguish my intuition from my inner critic?

"It's just an opportunity." - ...

the other day Someone told me I am the "eternal optimist" .
my anxiety, self-defeat, and insecurities have collectively just thrown up on their shoes.

ThE RE-Fuse-all

I'm stuck in the refusal.
Often when the call is given, the future hero refuses to heed it. This may be from a sense of duty or obligation, fear, insecurity, a sense of inadequacy, or any of a range of reasons that work to hold the person in his or her current circumstances.
I'm overwhelmed with inadequacy, fear, insecurity, and obligation...
how daunting...
Entrepreneurship....what that means exactly perhaps I'll never know. I see doors opening to me but I just feel like I don't have my shit together in time. A space at the Local artist's studio...but I need this and that to apply. And instead of throwing it all together, I think "maybe in the future". A call to artists for an art show....and I shy from the process because I don't know how it works - have I learned anything about asking questions?
A fear because I don't know what to do - music, paint, clothes, consignment deals, displays, themes, jewelry, whaty what what!?
If there are four boats in the ocean, how do I know which one to get into?
If I'm A procrastinator, how will I ever forgive myself for missed opportunities?

Oh how human of me to feel this insecure

Nomura's Jellyfish

I just had to blog this...

Jellyfish are bizarre to begin with, but these things take the cake. In fact, they sometimes become cake.

attog boj

So, I got a job in youth care
part of me is freaked out
part of me is very happy.
It's 12 hours a week
in an emergency shelter
last stop
one stop shop
I told them I teach drums
they said I could do that there if I wanted
sounds pretty awesome
maybe I'll pay off my debt soon

I saw some of the youth there
before and after the interview
they smiled and were sweet
then opened their mouths
and spewed tone and attitude
that is so commonplace in their lives.
I laughed.
It's hard not to have the knee-jerk reaction
when someone talks at you like that.
Another youth talked about shooting animals
with his air-soft. A different kind of knee-
jerk reaction came up through my gut.

I hope I can remember how to do my job.
ha.

Shift from Judgement to Curiosity

Eagle are Gone and No More Caribou - Part 2

Part 2 of a 4 part series...