A friend of mine

I saw a friend of mine the other day and she looked like me, how I looked, 2 years ago. I knew her well.
She looked rushed and introverted, networking her way around a room making me think she was only there for her own purposes. Aren't we all? well....maybe. She was present, maybe just better at multitasking, but she reminded me of me, a few years ago. Too busy to truly feel present in my surroundings. I networked and mingled, I blurted out energy at people, instead of sharing the energy with them. Seeing her made me realise what changes I have been through, in that I don't want to do that to my friends anymore. I don't want to make their lives as frantic as my own. I don't want to make them feel unimportant, or that they have to tag along while I do my thing. I want to honour each and every person I spend time with and I want to Spend Time with them. I want to do things together. I want to be free enough to dedicate an hour or four to their cause, and in that I will be honouring my new desire for friendship and family.
well...maybe we are all just working towards our own means, but I guess I just feel like I can see the benefits of that busy life and I choose to retire. I want to let people know I love them in a different way. It's hard to acknowledge that I now have a hard time spending time with this friend.
I'll just throw this thought out there as well...I feel like maybe she's pimping herself in a way - because I can see in her how I used to hide my insecurities in faux confidence that showed itself in conflicted consumerism. Morals and verbal ethics tied up in still trying to be a pretty woman. hmmm....I am glad I am letting go, but it is hard to learn the lessons closest to home.