other selves

I've had some vivid dreams:
Allan and I sat at my family dinner with some of dad's colleagues and one of them had been the first to manipulate a successful stem cell operation. he was discussing the out come. While the man talked, my perspective was one of sitting at the table. But, when Allan lit up a cigarette at the table, my perspective shifted to being an outside observer. (He doesn't smoke, so this was huge - and he would never dream of smoking in doors), then he proceeded to piss everyone at the table off, got up and walked out. Outside, I chased him down and he kept saying things like "you know it's not going to make a lick of a difference to our fucked up world"and stuff that was calling everyone down. Then he said "Mimi was the first to the crime scene - that's what you can say". I kept grabbing at his arms and pleading, telling him I'd have to call the police, and at the last second of the dream, he ripped his arm away from me and his face got bloated and angry right in my face ( like a cartoon), and red with anger. It was fucked. Prior to all that, in the same dream, I had made some dinner things and my mom kept changing them. One that upset me the most was that I had made a mango salsa and my mom put ketchup in it because it needed tomato. I was so upset that she ruined my recipe.

Strange dreams...I can't help but wonder about all these dreams I have of people's faces, negativity, and wonder if it is all emotions that I have towards my self or my life which I am projecting onto others in my dreams?...The night prior, I had a dream and Kirsten's face got red and purple and big (like a cartoon) when I punched her in the stomach for saying my friends are bullshitting liars and who don't really care about me or anything I do. ...and in the dream previous to that one, I was hanging out with some girls who were excessively mean and violent towards other girls in general and each other ( like gang members or the high school popular girls are). They got really pissed at one point and I left. Walking down the street, I heard one of the girls screaming she'd come find me. I ended up hiding in the bushes.

It's stange all these dreams. I don't understand yet but there's something to them I'm sure of it.
a constant prevailing sense of dread, fear, doubt, negativity, anger, faces faces faces....very prevalent faces.....purples, reds and browns....